It's only stuff. Or is it?

When we go over to other kids' houses, there are lots of toys that light up, make cool sounds, etc.  We don't have a whole lot of these things and sometimes I feel like a bad parent for not providing them.  This isn't to say that Ms Frog has nothing to play with; we've got blocks, stuffed animals, plastic figures, hand puppets, and tons of books.  There's also a house full of things that make great toys from pots to big people books.  I do feel a bit guilty that her toys, like her clothes, are mostly gifts or yard sale/thrift store purchases, but maybe we're doing her a favor in the long run.  I'm sure we're going to run into problems with this as she gets older and notices that she doesn't have as many cool toys/trendy clothes as some of her friends.  We'll probably have to buy some of those things (or have her grandparents do it), but I really want to limit this.  I want her to learn that stuff really isn't that important and that fun doesn't require tons of props.  I'd much rather she roll in the mud or trash the kitchen baking a cake with her buddies than sit in her room playing with some silly toy.  I want her to realize that doing something or spending time with someone is much more important than having something.

The culture we live in is all about things; what someone buys is as much or more of what defines them than other qualities.  This applies to anything from the clothes someone wears to where they buy their groceries to where they don't shop.  This bothers me to no end because there are so many more things that define a person; relationships, values, hobbies, taste in books, etc.  Marketing to kids through media or peer influence brings them into consumerism before they are old enough to decide if/how they want to participate.  I don't believe it's necessary to put walls around what my child watches or who she plays with.  I do think, however, that it's necessary to (largely) say no to marketing campaigns.  I can do this by choosing not to buy her everything she asks for and by encouraging her to laugh at ads and go beyond the pitch.  For instance, if she wants a princess costume, we can make our own instead of buying it.  Ours can have more frills, sparkles, etc than the store version.  Or we can skip the thing and pretend to be princesses using our imaginations.  I imagine the latter won't fly and that we might end up buying that princess costume.  Still, I hope that placing some limits will encourage her to question who's telling her that she needs stuff and to realize that she usually doesn't.